The dilemma of picking an outfit for the first day of school

School started this week for my 10-year-old daughter, Avery. In many ways, Avery is like most kids — she is social, values friendship, and wants to be accepted by her peers. But in other ways, she is very much unlike her peers.

Avery has Dravet syndrome, a rare, severe, and lifelong form of epilepsy that impacts many aspects of her life. A couple years ago, we sat through hours of evaluations to confirm medically what we already knew personally: Due to Dravet syndrome and the seizures Avery’s brain has endured, she is also considered to be developmentally disabled.

While in some aspects of life, Avery has goals and interests that are similar to her peers of the same age, in other aspects, she presents like a child much younger than her actual age. This became apparent when we started shopping for her back-to-school clothes. While many fifth-grade girls have begun to grow out of a childish clothing style covered in cartoon characters, rainbows, butterflies, tutus, and glitter, I can confidently say Avery has not.

Recommended Reading

Aug. 14, 2026 Columns by Sarah Lango

Keeping my daughter with Dravet syndrome safe at school

​This brought me to a place as a mom where I had to ask myself: Do I encourage her to embrace a more mature type of fashion that is more easily accessible in her clothing size, or do I encourage her to continue to embrace the fashion she has always enjoyed?

It seems like a simple question, but as Avery’s mom, I truly felt perplexed. On one hand, Avery’s “childish” style likely aligns more with her developmental age. On the other hand, it is just one more thing that makes her different from her peers. Will other kids begin to make fun of her for these fashion choices?

At the end of the day, of course I want Avery to choose whatever outfit makes her happy, but is it possible for her to keep her adorably sweet and spunky childlike fashion sense while still adding a more mature touch?

If you haven’t parented a child with a developmental disability, it probably seems like I’m overthinking something as simple as an outfit, and maybe I am. However, this is what my brain does as I try to give Avery the best life I can. Am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? Have I lost my ever-loving mind? Probably yes to all of the above.

So many things are already harder for my child because of a diagnosis that she has no control over. This means that every choice I make for her requires I pause and consider, “Will this make life easier or harder for her?” The internal turmoil of a back-to-school outfit is just the smallest example of how this plays out in real life.

After my attempt and failure at trying to find an outfit that met Avery’s expectations, her big sister stepped in. We possibly would still be shopping at this moment if Riley hadn’t saved the day.

With little effort, Riley did what I wanted to do but couldn’t quite figure out how to do. She embraced Avery’s current style choices while encouraging her to try some new, more mature options that were still incredibly cute. And of course, big sister’s opinion holds way more weight than Mom’s opinion. The result was a dressing room fashion show complete with smiles and laughter and an outfit that everyone was happy with.

I’m sure she will still be wearing her favorite Minnie Mouse dress and donning that rainbow tutu regularly, but she is easing into some new fashion choices that feel more age-appropriate. And she’s going to look adorable on the first day of school.

Note: Dravet Syndrome News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Dravet Syndrome News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Dravet syndrome.